A foundational tool for raising siblings
My daily challenge.
I was raised an only child. An only child! Which means I had absolutely no idea life with siblings would be like this!
Besides the obvious of having different personalities - there’s just a lot to wade through.
A LOT.
Some days I let it slide and they figure it out.
Because life.
Other days we sit and talk about…
How to have a conversation
Responsibility
Emotions
Nonviolent communication
& so much more.
Cultivating a great relationship takes work + time + effort
A main foundational tool we have been working on lately is taking personal responsibility.
Lots of finger pointing over here & placing blame on the other person.
Siblings. Am I right!?
When that happens I have them take ownership of what they said individually while the other child and I support her by listening.
No interruptions.
I can’t stress enough how powerful this activity is.
By just having them repeat what they said or did - they are mindfully hearing & even feeling everything that just went down - in their own words & through their own body.
There is no shaming while this is happening. The point is to guide her to tell the story from her point of view and to not say what the other did.
All I am doing is holding space & the other sibling is practicing space holding too.
When we hold space for another there is no judgement and no interruptions. I do end up guiding them both through this structure but with very little words.
Holding space like this allows the other person to make their own breakthrough or even just make sense of the situation.
It’s really a core shaker when learning to take responsibility
You ever get into an argument with someone else and maybe during that argument realize you had some fault in it too?
In this moment we are granted an opportunity to take responsibility for our own part or keep placing blame on the other.
This is a breakdown of the tool used in this instance & I definitely want them to know how to take responsibility for our words and actions.
Remember what I said above - cultivating great relationships take work + time + effort.
Placing blame is the easy way out and it will only drive a wedge into the strongest of relationships.
If we learn to take responsibility - the conflict is resolved so much faster and we get to experience our relationships in a new way.
